upfromdysfunction.com

   “…Just give me a reason
       Just a little bit’s enough…”

Dear God,

I know You work in mysterious ways and believe me, I accept it. You’re busy running the world and Yes, I’ve enough on my plate just managing me.

…It made sense when I lost my father, I suppose. He was overweight and smoked three packs a day for so many years that his cardiologists had been betting the “under”.

…And I tolerated too the loss of our mother. Years of a home-and-away series with hospitals had exhausted her and the sucker-punch from Turner,…well…she had pushed past eighty. So I got that too, God. I understood.

… And my tears dried quickly—did they not?—with less vital stuff. Did I dwell in ’66 when Brush lost to Talmadge? Or in ’69, on that day in Ann Arbor? …Or for that matter on The Drive or The Fumble?

I move on, God, when it’s only a game. We all do. So I rebounded well from my losses—the good, bad and ugly. From the marriage, my odyssey, and even defection of a life-long friend. (Heck, I now can laugh, especially ‘bout Lomaz. Had my dad been alive at the time, the way Dick bailed would have killed Al. “Addition by subtraction”, he’d have muttered, before adding “Deal the cards.”)

So I know what’s important God, and I know what isn’t. Really. And this here… this matters, God. Really. You see, my daughter walked, God….

From her sister and her brother and her mother and her friends and her past…and me.

But it’s not just her.

She’s got kids, God. My blood, God. And they’ve got cousins, just miles away.

Family. Cousins, God….family!

Whether I’m there or not….whether I live or not…

Family.

I don’t understand, God…and I need to… a little, (unless, of course, you think it’s better that I don’t.

Because you are my God.

And I trust in You.
And I know you have a reason.

And I believe You if you say that’s enough.

Amen.

       “…We’re not broken, just bent…
        …It’s in the stars…
       It’s been written in the scars on our hearts
       And we can learn to love again…
       …Just give me a reason…
       Just a little bit’s enough…”           Pink

This entry was posted on Monday, October 21st, 2013 at 12:21 am and is filed under Up From Dysfunction. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.